if the burden seems too much to bear remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

This was taken from my best friend Laura's website, http://avalon.crystal-flame.net/blog.html Together, we are the queen's of crazy dreams, and this is one that she had that she told me about while I was staying at her house in Tennessee. It's amazing and awesome. You MUST read this and laugh your butt off. Copyright to her of course.

. . . Pirates of the RV: The Curse of the Golden Pineapple . . .

(note: the above title was the first scene in my dream)

In this dream... my family and I owned a huge RV that could float on water - like in The Wild Thornberry's. So, we used it to sail around the world like a ship. In fact, we thought it was one. Not only my family was onboard. We had the crew - made up mostly of Mexicans, my best friend Carrie Hoffman, my strange friend Charlotte Siska, Tom Cruise, and Will Turner - Orlando Bloom's POTC persona.

One day, we were taken over by a gold-hungry pirate who was in fact Johnny Depp, though he was dressed as his POTC persona - Capt. Jack Sparrow. He was instantly enthralled by me, which made Will furious. (Everyone onboard knew me and Will had a thing for each other.) For his sharp tongue, Johnny made him walk the plank - which was really a 2 x 4 we stuck out the door.

Then Johnny sent us to slave away day and night powering the ship... er... RV. This was done by riding stationary bikes. He had us all handcuffed and shackled to them. I was in the center with Tom and Carrie on either side of me and Charlotte behind.

Johnny came in one night and announced that I was to dine with him that evening. Somehow I managed to get away and tried to jump into the water from the plank, but Johnny caught me in a gigantic butterfly net. I was rechained to my bike.

The next morning Johnny told us that we were docking ashore inside a huge cave to go the the World's Fair. He told us to take all the gold we could find, but do it discreetly. So, we started off. It looked like a maze at first, then slowly became a mall. There were no shops or venders or even tables, just chains of all sorts dangling down from the ceiling. Soon every one of us had a huge clump of chains around our necks that we had dragged down from above. That is... all of us except for Tom who had found a golden pineapple.

I went to my parents, when Johnny was distracted, and we devised a way for me to attempt an escape. Each took half of my chains and I started to run... but Johnny lasso-ed me down with a golden rope.

"Tonight you will not only dine with me," he declared, "but share my bed as well!!" I began to weep helplessly, but I could not give up hope. I knew Will was nearby.

After the Fair, we sailed on through the tunnel. Carrie helped me to break my chains from the bike.

"I'll pretend I'm you," she said. "Johnny won't know the difference. At least, not until you're long gone."

"Oh! Thank you for your sacrifice!!" I cried.

Then, she went to Johnny as I slipped away. But! Before I could leave, Tom caught my arm.

"Take this with you," he said, thrusting the golden pineapple at me. "It will come in handy."

"What the heck?! Wait. What are you even doing in my dream?" I said. He just nodded and walked away.

I swam - with the pineapple on my head - to an alcove where Will lay breathing hard and wounded.

"Laura?!" he cried. "How did you ever escape?"

"He may be a fearsome pirate, but Johnny's not too bright. Carrie bravely took my place in his bedchamber."

I see that his arm has a large gash in it - probably from swimming over a million miles to get to the cave. I tear a piece of my dress off and bandage it gently. Our eyes lock. We are about to kiss when blaring headlights ruin the moment.

"Will you please kill the brights?!" Will screams, not seeing who it is. Then we hear Johnny from the window of the RV.

"I can't believe you let me sleep with the wrong woman!!" he yells, his voice frustrated with angry passion. Then I hear Tom's voice from far away.

"Use the pineapple!"

"What?!"

"Just do it!"

I don't know what the heck to do, so I hand the golden fruit to Will. He chunks the thing at the front of the RV, totaling the front of it and destroying the motor. Johnny collapses in horror.

"I... I... can't believe it. I... l-lost...!" he manages.

A smitten Carrie rushes to his side. Johnny instantaneously falls in love with her.

Peace is restored to the RV... Will and I kiss passionately, Johnny and Carrie kiss passionately, Tom and Charlotte kiss passionately, the crew is returned to their stationary bikes, and a rainbow fills the exit of the cave.

THE END scrolls across the screen. Then the credits start - white letters against black:

Tom Cruise...Tom Cruise

Laura...Laura Wyszynski

Carrie...Carrie Hoffman

the crew...latin americans

Will Turner...Orlando Bloom

Johnny Depp...Capt. Jack Sparrow

dad...Laurence Wyszynski

mom...Linda Wyszynski

Logan...Logan Wyszynski

Charlotte...Charlotte Siska

the golden pineapple...Toulouse