if the burden seems too much to bear remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

I had to do tech yesterday, 3-6. Doug and I built the whole railing on the dressing room side of the Noises Off set. So when you see that beautiful railing...thank us. Adam and I also had a freshmen moment when we went to the annex and couldn't get it unlocked. Actually, it wasn't our fault that Mr. Hopton told us the wrong key, but we felt stupid anyway, for taking 1/2 hour to get 2 10 ft. 2x4s. Tyler and Em came to rescue us though...so it was all good.
I got a D on my math quiz...not good. I still have an A in the class, but I think that I need to start paying better attention. I thought I understood the stuff, but obviously I don't. The class average was like 1 point higher than what I got though...so it's not that bad I guess. I HATE MATH!!!!!!! It's so pointless. I am so tired of school. I can't imagine what next year will be like if it's this hard for me to focus right now. I feel like I have senioritis already. I just realized today that I'm going to have to actually study for exams...hopefully I can make myself do it. I am sooo ready for summer!!! This summer is going to be the best one of my life (so far)!!!!! It better be. I mean, what could be cooler than Australia, New Zealand, Laura's house, and no band camp? Well, it would be better if I didn't still have 6 books to read. At least I got The Gathering Storm done. I still have to write the synopsis though. I should just write one sentence..."Winston Churchill is completely in love with himself." That's the main point I got from that book. Well, anyway, this summer's gonna be awesometacular.
Well, the crap has hit the fan. Mr. K found out I'm quitting band and talked to me about it. Our convo was something like this.
Carrie: (picking up folder, about to leave.)
Mr. K: By the way Carrie, are you going to be doing band next year?
Carrie: Umm...actually no. I...uh...can't fit it into my schedule.
Mr. K: You can't?
Carrie: Yeah..uh...I have a bunch of hard classes and stuff.
Mr. K: Oh, well when did you decide this?
Carrie: Yeah, I know I signed up for band originally, but then I realized I couldn't do it and took it off.
Mr. K: Hmmm...well I wish you would've told me sooner because I auditioned people and made the roster up before while I thought you were still in it. I really don't know who I can get to replace you, because there's really no one else who can touch your playing ability who's not already in Wind Ensemble. I mean, it's just a big drop off after Emily Stopa, and Ariel's not doing it next year either. So I would really urge you to change your mind, I mean, I can't really replace you. So now that I've guilt tripped you maybe you'll think about it. I hope you change your mind.
Carrie: Yeah...uh...I'll think about it. (Walks away)

Yeah right. No way in heck you'll get me to play for that man another year. I'm done. As for tonight, we have state contest. I really really really hope we get a 2 so that my last year can be the year to break the record. Am I incredibly evil for wanting to sabotage our performance? I could just play really out of tune and hit a few wrong notes, maybe mess up some entrances. I could get Joey to do it too, maybe. I mean, he couldn't prove that we played badly on purpse...(evil grin). I know I wont do it though...I just wish I had enough guts to. It would be worth it just to see him cry.
I just wonder when Dooey will talk to me about not doing marching band...that I actually care about so it will be harder...but I do actually have a reasonable excuse...college auditions.
Well, tonite is my last ever band contest!!!!!! yes!!!! And tomorrow is prom. Erin and I are gettin our nails done in the morning I think. I'm hyped up. I just hope I can sleep tonight.
So everybody pray that Wind Ensemble gets a 2!!!! (Hey, I think God has a sense of humor...he'd do it...hehehe.)