if the burden seems too much to bear remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

Here're some more random thoughts on prom.
Justin is a really cool guy. I guess it takes getting him in a small group. He always struck me as kind of a stuck-on-himself jerk at school. I didn't know he was into painting and poetry and sensitive stuff like that. It made me happy to realize that people aren't always what they seem.
Prom itself was really the best part of the night. I wish we hadn't gotten there so late. I loved dancing, even though I probably looked like crap. All the theater people were up by the front of course, so that was cool. EmB and Andrew got custom-made matching dress and vest which was the sweetest thing ever. Much better then the powder blue tux was I'm sure. I loved slow dancing, although I hate being short. I couldn't really look into David's eyes romantically so I just sort of stared at his shoulder. It was still totally sweet though.
So there was this one moment in the car when we were driving home from prom I think, and Emily just came out and asked, "So are you guys like going out now?" I just looked at David and didn't know what to say....I said something rull intelligent like "Ummm...I don't know." I think he said "We'll have to see." What the freak does that mean? I guess I'll have to see. I'm kind of making myself not be the one to do all the asking in this think. But I'm always impatient and uncomfortable w/ things not being official. My mom thinks I'm crazy because of that. But she doesn't understand high school. Hayley was saying something about that today in speech. She said something like..."You go on dates for awhile...then sometime you just randomly ask, 'hey, do we have a title?' " She was talking to someone else. But I think that's a good way of putting it...it is how high school relationships go. But I must calm myself and just be happy w/ things the way they are...I'm always afraid I'm too pushy and forward.
Emily's house was also really cool, just because I just go to sit there with David holding me and a blanket over us and we just talked. I could have sat there forever. I loved it. I was just so glad to be there, behind held by this incredibly cool, gorgeous guy. I was like..."finally!"
I'm so sad it's over. On Sunday after I got home I was really depressed. My mom and sis were going to church and my dad and Tim were at some campout or something. So I just told my mom I was gonna go to sleep right away. Really, I just took a super fast shower then ran downstairs to see if David was online. Then we talked for awhile about you-don't-even-wanna-know-what. I think the sleep deprivation was kicking in...at least on my part it definitely (hehe) was. He was probably still high from all the mountain dew. But then I really did have to go to bed before they got back. So I slept till 3 then got up and we went to TGI Fridays for mother's day. Then I went to bed at like 7. It was so anti-climatic. Think of all the time we spent planning for this, stressing over it, getting excited, and all of a sudden it's over. But then I thought of all the drama that happened w/ Erin and me and everything and how it all worked out perfectly in the end. At least I'm pretty sure she had a lot of fun w/ Kazuo. Insanely perfectly for me. I was just looking for one night w/ someone I could have a good time w/. Jeez, I found so much more than that. I can't wait till Saturday...I'm still saving that picture.